Saturday, December 22, 2012

Dirty Red (Love Me with Lies #2) by Tarryn Fisher

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This review contains spoilers. You can read the edited version here on Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/394307367
FYI, even though this review contains spoilers I DID NOT spoil everything. The true golden nuggets are still hidden in the book waiting for you to uncover them!

“A woman shouldn’t have to fight that hard to be with a man. He should just want her.”

Dirty: whore, bitch, skank. Dirrrrrrrty: liar, manipulating, conniving weaseling little trollop. So many apt malicious descriptions for Leah. Caleb's nickname for her is Red and Dirty she most definitely is. Dirty; to take an appropriate description and marry it with a term of endearment Red. Set's the perfect title and tone for Dirty Red.

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When I finished the opportunist I was bawling like a little bitch. I felt true love had fought an all-encompassing battle and lost. I didn’t realize I’ve been brooding in between The Opportunist and Dirty Red until I finished it this morning. The Opportunist broke me, shattered a little piece of my heart. Then when I found out it was only book one of a set of three, I found a glimmer of hope in my torn up little heart of make believe book world (where live more than part-time).

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I was concerned when I found out Dirty Red was going to be from Leah’s POV. Severely concerned, the last thing I wanted to do was feel any kind of empathy for her. I love Olivia, I chose my side a long time ago and knew I’d always stick with her, but I didn’t want that redheaded spitting cobra slithering her way into my heart. For the most part she didn’t. I’ve only ever cried for Olivia & Caleb.

Leah’s stubbornness to never having to open up to her husband let alone anyone else, her cattiness and snobbery, oh and let’s not forget her manipulation and lies won no brownie points with me. My heart did go out to her at times in regards to her tumultuous upbringing –but that was it. I thought bitch please, get over yourself.

“How dare he think the worst of me? I am his wife! For better or worst, right? Or did the worse refer to the situation and not the person?”

I know, I know Olivia has lied and manipulated in the past to get the guy for herself as well, but her redeeming qualities out weigh Leah’s by a landslide and remember who are the true soul mates here (if you’re not sure who, then you’re reading the book all wrong). They both have lied and schemed for their tornado hurricane relationship, and I am ready to see Caleb get a little dirty to win the keeper of his heart. We got a glimpse of him doing just that in this book.

As soon as you start the first chapter Leah has given birth to a baby girl when she was convinced it was going to be a boy.
“I am going to have to share my husband with another woman…again.”
While battling her self diagnosed postpartum depression, self-pity parties, drinking binges and frozen vegetable entrees we are thirteen months give or take form the time she was acquitted into Leah’s head and her life with Caleb (at the same time Olivia is currently marrying Noah). While keeping to the formula of The Opportunist, the chapters take turns from Leah’s present to her past before and with Caleb.

I was shocked that I did a speed read through an entire book where I loathed the main character/ narrator. I enjoyed it thoroughly; it was fascinating delving into Dirty Red’s demented little head. This book is my bridge between Olivia and Caleb, the love that I continue to hold out hope for to win in the end.

“He is going to yell at me. I hate when he yells at me. I can guarantee my skin has already erupted into a splotchy mess; a telltale sign that I’m shitting myself.”

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I believed Leah could truly have had it all, if she would have stopped obsessing/blaming Olivia for everything that did not go her way and just loved and enjoyed her husband….maybe….maybe not. Hopefully NOT.

“’I won’t hurt you. I’ll take care of you. Do you believe me?’ ‘Yes’ I lied.”

“I go to bed, still wearing my clothes, sadder than I’ve ever felt.”

“We can try. I silently repeat to myself. Words I want, but they have an expiration date. We can try…until we can’t anymore. We can try…but this already feels doomed. I will have to think of a way to make this more permanent.”

My heart hurt from this paragraph:
“My father gave me a prestigious job at his company to prove how little he thought of me. My boyfriend gave me smiles that didn’t reach his eyes. My mother gave me love so thin it felt more like sugarcoated contempt. If someone had cared enough to say: Leah, it’s all in your head…all I would have to do was refer them to the three people in my life who didn’t really want me there.”

And this is where I just shook my head at her and would’ve smacked her:
“I knew he never loved me like he loved her, but I wanted him anyway. I knew his love for me was conditional, but I wanted him anyway. I knew I was second choice, but I wanted him anyway.”
Love Cammie, missed Cammie, if I were a character from this book taking in to consider my real life I’m a Cammie girl.

“Go enjoy the life you stole for yourself.”

“There is a possibility that you’re worth more than being Caleb’s marriage of pity, and if that’s true then you should jump ship now. It’s only a matter of time before the Caleb/Olivia saga starts up again.”

I was so happy to have Cammie back, didn't know how that would workout with his book being Leah's POV and Cammie is part of the Olivia camp. Sam was just as amusing as Cammie, they are definitely a lot alike.

We get to meet Seth, Caleb’s older brother. Whom I like I thought he was a great match for Leah, but I don’t trust him. I think he took part in the atomic bomb at the end. Not to say I didn’t love the bomb, I did, but I think he had his hand in it.

“’You remind me of a cheap reality show, Leah. You’re shallow, and you pretend to be stupid for God only knows what reason.’…’What the hell Seth?’ He’d shrugged. ‘I know you’re not really as stupid as you put out. Shallow, maybe. You have the type of eyes that have claws in them.’”

“I dismissed his comment with a wave of my hand. ‘She is always nice to me.’ He laughed. ‘That’s because you’re a lot like her. She probably has a healthy fear of a fellow bitch.’ My mouth dropped open. ‘What is it with people in this family saying exactly what they’re thinking? It’s so rude.’ He leaned over the arm of the sofa and winked conspiratorially at me. ‘You should try it. Though, it’s quite fascinating to sit back and watch all your thoughts boil behind your eyes and never make it to your mouth.’”

“Human eyes are the sign language of the brain. If you watch carefully, you can see the truth played out, raw and unguarded.”

“I am sickly familiar with the way he looks at Olivia, because it is the way I look at him.”

“A look. How long can a look be…truly? A look can be a second long, a freaking, harmless second, and it can tell long, complicated stories. You can see three years in a second-long look. You can see longing, too. I hadn’t known that until I saw it for myself. I wish I hadn’t seen it. I wish I could never see another look transferred between two people with history.”

We learned in the first book that Caleb had a dark side in lieu of faking amnesia, and in Dirty Red we see that he can run with the big girls ie. Olivia & Leah. Caleb can play just as dirty (“He was a liar. He was a thief.”). He get’s his ass handed to him once again in this book and I cannot wait to read the course of action he will decide to take in the next book. Hooray it will be from his POV. The only thing is he is going to wish Olivia married that tool Turner and doubt he’s going to enjoy the likes of pitting himself up against Saint Noah.

“Caleb once told me love was a desire and desire was an emptiness.”

Leah and Caleb are clearly not meant to be together, but Olivia did tell Cammie once that Caleb had a thing for fucked-up women. I hope this was the end of Caleb and Leah, it’s hard to say for sure, you would think by the way the book ended that he was it was done –but if he truly is only turned on by psychoticness it still up for debate. I know Leah will not be giving up and Olivia has changed for the better. I believe that’s all Caleb truthfully wants Olivia good or bad. I hope to see him fight for her, but with dignity, I hope he wins and they grow together. I will feel sorry for Noah.

Who knows what Tarryn will do…..SHIT! I hope it’s not left open to debate for the reader to interpret. Ugh, I’m joining a convent if it is.
Hmmmmmmm Nun Kari with her smutty books….I’m pretty sure that’s frowned upon.

“I have told so many lies that I have an entire buffet of shadiness to choose from. I plucked out the worst one and rub my chin on my shoulder. This one will hurt him, probably deeper than anything that I could do or say about Olivia. Ready…set…”

Dear Tarryn, I will do anything to get an advanced copy of the third book when you start looking for reviewers for it. Including but not limited to: I will be your slave/ servant, I will clean your house and braid your hair and tell you how you’re the fairest of them all, I will most of all give an honest review and promote your writing to anyone and everyone that will…hell if they are not listening I will throw something at their heads.
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